One unintended, albeit human byproduct of conquering professional curriculum and licensure is we sometimes swell up. We’ve achieved. We’ve arrived. We personify the pomp and circumstance. Both comedy and tragedy. Our message succumbs.
Professor Tom Baker warned me and my classmates that first week of law school in August 1988 – “When you leave this place you will not be the same person. You’ll no longer speak the same language. Some of your friends may not recognize you.”
His words haunt me; they were prophetic. We aren’t the same people now. We speak strangely.
Not only attorneys. My family doctor is a good friend. He’s normal . . . until he goes into “doctor mode.” The fun-loving jokester morphs – “Russ, what we tend to see when these symptoms manifest is . . .”
My CPA drones about GAPP and EBITDA.
So on with professionals.
Last post, I mentioned my nine-months of interviewing judges. They all broached this problem. It seems that jurors despise being talked down to. (So do co-workers, clients, volunteers . . . people.)
One judge said, “Large words seem to make some attorneys proud of themselves.” Another advised, “Never use a ten-dollar word when a ten-cent word will do.”
This conjured Dallas lawyer, lexicographer, and teacher Bryan Garner’s anecdote about two lawyers debating the correct spelling of arcane endings of affidavits – “Further affiant sayeth not” – used still.
“Firstly, is it ‘sayeth’ or ‘saith’”?
“Also, is it ‘naught’ or ‘not’”?
Garner’s knee-jerk reaction was to suggest they go with Porky Pig’s “That’s all folks!” But on gathering himself, urged that an affiant who hath nothing further to sayeth should merely stoppeth.
Word choice matters. It’s a matter of credibility and likeability.
In Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury – Greatest Closing Arguments in Modern Law, the authors noted a common trait among the likes of Clarence Darrow and Gerry Spence was horizontal dialogue with juries. They just chatted, in plain speak. All professionals of every industry would do well to follow that lead.
A related error I heard repeatedly is “giving an air of being the smartest person in the room.” Yes, the words, but also haughty mannerisms and tone – Theatrics with eyeglasses, strutting and harsh intonation.
Radio tunes play in my head:
- “You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht” – Carly Simon’s You’re so Vain
“You can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a ladies’ man, no time for talk.” – Bee Gees’ Stayin’ Alive
Then there’s tone (which gets me in trouble domestically, by the way). I spring to my defense – “Honey, all I said was . . .”
“Oh, it’s not what you said; it’s how you said it,” she interrupts.
Been there?
Loved ones forgive us. Eventually. Others? If we’re pretentious, they’ll mistrust us. If we’re arrogant, they’ll forsake us.” Would-be persuasion crumbles.
We’re not all that! We should just chat.
© 2015 Russ Riddle. All rights reserved.