Why has advocacy morphed into rabid confrontation? To quote one long-time judge in the Dallas-Fort Worth metro area – “Being adversarial does not require that you bark like a backyard dog at every little thing.”
Acting out is unpersuasive. “Stop stomping your feet and acting like children,” said another judge. She is turned off by tantrums.
Yet another jurist has asked her staff on occasion to research and ascertain whether certain “attorneys” are indeed licensed (due to their extreme unprofessional behavior). Wow. Such doesn’t only happen in the classic film “My Cousin Vinny”!
Oh, I am as competitive as others. I want to win. But at what cost?
Is the art of persuasion bordering on extinction? I hope not. But lawyers, salespeople . . . heck, all “professionals” sometimes need to take that proverbial deep breath, calm down and throw the softer pitch.
Perhaps the best bit of advice I’ve received is to lead with grace, mercy and redemption. Those are not mere words of faith. They are actions for success in this life.
King Solomon, known for immense wisdom, once said, “The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction.” If we want to influence others for better, gracious speech is in order. The magic of extending grace is that it preserves dignity, theirs and ours. And we inspire harmony when folks (yes, even the “other side”) experience our grace.
Moreover, we impact most when we are forgiving, having mercy. Abraham Lincoln said, “I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.” Trust me, there’s a wrong way to be right. I’ll show you the scars on my past-bloodied knees. “Winning” can be tragically harmful.
Finally, let’s allow those whom we’re leading to redeem themselves where possible. “Having a second chance makes you want to work even harder.” – Tia Mowry
May seem trite. Yet over the last several months, I’ve had ample opportunity to put grace, mercy and redemption to the test. It works!
‘Tis often difficult. But – It – Works.
© 2015 Russ Riddle. All rights reserved.