Annoying distractions derail communication. One of the most abrupt communication stoppers in my view is a misused word or phrase. Such sends my mind into joke-writing mode every time. Obviously, I am then no longer listening to the speaker’s intended message.
Here are a few true examples, which I have experienced:
EXAMPLE 1: One of the most intelligent, yet stubborn attorneys I’ve known insists upon saying “a butt load” whenever she is proclaiming a huge volume of something (e.g., That’s a butt load of money!) Since she is “never wrong,” I have not broken the news that the correct phrase is “a boat load.” Obviously, boats can tote a lot more than butts can. Although I do concede that some butts could carry more than others.
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EXAMPLE 2: Two friends have an ongoing debate – “Out the wazoo” vs. “Out the kazoo.” Here’s my take.
Wazoo is time-honored slang for the human rear end; a kazoo is a musical instrument (loosely speaking). So wazoo does seem to make more sense – He’s got money out the wazoo! (Translated – He’s so wealthy money even flows from his butt!) Conversely, a kazoo is played with the other end – one’s mouth.
Caveat: Some of the high “notes” that have been heard from my relatives’ wazoos could indeed pass for those of kazoos.
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EXAMPLE 3: I know a senior-level sales executive for a Fortune 500 company. He is truly at the top of his game. He has the best people skills around, great common sense and instinct, is an irresistible salesman, and intelligent. His many talents even include the ability to be extremely frank in the most likable manner. He’s one of those people whose “togetherness” I covet. Yet he has one habit that is maddening – He fancies declaring when an issue has become a “mute point.”
I want to ask, “What does that mean? The point cannot talk?” But I stop myself, as there is no gracious way of my correcting his misusage. However, this does not render it a moot point.
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EXAMPLE 4: Society has become so concerned with avoiding incorrect usage of “and me” that many people have overcompensated by incorrectly using “and I.” Not long ago, I actually heard a lady state, “Early in John and I’s marriage, . . .” My brain nearly shorted out on that one.
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EXAMPLE 5: Mispronunciations of correct words can be nearly as disrupting. Every time one family member refers to Huh-wie-yuh (Hawaii), I want to respond, I am fine. How are you?
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Communication is a craft that requires attention to detail. We must correct our fractured phrases; else we’ll be the wazoo of jokes!
© 2012 Russ Riddle. All rights reserved.